ABUSER don’t come in a package that says “I’m an ABUSER” they come in many different packages some small, large, cute, ugly, nice, sweet, well-dressed, with money or without money, handsome, fashionable, quite or loud, etc. but REALIZE they’ll come and you have to figure out how you’re going to handle them when they come your way… Read on and if you see some of the signs of an ABUSER in your current relationship you need to RUN in the opposite direction NOW!!!
- Both Men and Women can be VICTIM’S
It is important to remember that while emotional abuse is often thought of as being committed by a man against a woman, women can also emotionally ABUSE men, or between members of a same-sex relationship. Emotional ABUSE isn’t acceptable in any relationship at anytime.
- Gets PHYSICAL
If you are in an emotionally ABUSIVE relationship, there is a good chance that eventually things may get physical. At first, the ABUSER might pull your hair, push you, wipe your makeup off, or grab you so hard that you bruise. These are only the warning signs of things to come in your further.
- Controls YOU through Emotions
An ABUSER is a grand manipulator and will sulk, threaten to leave, and emotionally punish you for not following their idea of how things should be. An ABUSER will try to make you feel guilty any time you exert your will and assert what is right for you. At times the ABUSER may appear to be apologetic and loving but that will only last until he/she feels you have forgiven them.
- Is extremely JEALOUS
A prominent trait of abusers is their jealousy. An ABUSIVE partner or spouse is often jealous of you, other people and even your dreams and goals. Their jealousy and rage over intangible things like your aspirations stem from the lack of control they feel over those aspects of your life
- Expects You to Be a SERVANT
An emotional ABUSER goes through life feeling their entitled to be treated like royalty, and wants you to be a willing servant. He or she expects you to do everything and will not help at all.
- PUNISHES you for time AWAY
This goes along with the isolation technique, where ABUSERS want you all to themselves. If you do go somewhere or do something without your partner, or even if he or she goes along but others are also there, an emotional ABUSER will punish you later. An ABUSER may shout, insult, threaten or worse, all because you were not exclusively hanging out with him or her.
- Instills FEAR
If you feel fear around your partner or spouse, there is something very wrong. ABUSERS may try to intimidate you with violence, dominance or power tactics. For example, intentionally putting you in possibly harmful situations, or showing you their gun collection and stating they are not afraid to use them.
- ALCOHOL and DRUG use
Not all abusers use drugs or drink excessive alcohol, but many do. An addiction can lead to erratic and inappropriate behavior. Substance ABUSE can be a gateway to emotional ABUSE and an unhealthy relationship.
- Blames OTHERS (YOU)
If your significant other always blames everything on someone else, namely you, this may be a bad sign. If he or she throws a tantrum or attacks you verbally, he or she will say it was because of you. It is not a sign of a healthy relationship if your partner never takes responsibility and never admits to being at fault.
- Verbally ABUSIVE
If someone calls you derogatory names, even if they say they are joking, they mean to hurt you and keep you in line. ABUSER sometimes cover themselves by blaming you, saying that you need to lighten up or that you are too sensitive. You are not too sensitive; you are feeling in your gut that this is not the way you should be treated
- Isolates YOU
Emotionally ABUSIVE spouses want you all to themselves. They do not understand that you have a life outside of the relationship – one that includes family and friends. It is healthy and normal for you to hang out with other people as well, so if your partner prevents you from doing so, this may be a sign of an emotionally ABUSIVE relationship.
Note: I’ve been in ABUSIVE relationship’s before and I found myself dating again after 26 yrs. of marriage and this man showed almost all the signs of an ABUSER after months of dealing with this I made a choice not to be with him anymore. Life is just to short to be with someone who treats or speaks to you in a negative way. ABUSE can started as early as childhood it could be the way your Father or Mother treats you. This will set the standard for how you will allow others to treat you later in life. If you look at your pass relationships you’ll see your future relationships. The only way to change what you’re in is to change the way you think about you. Now, it WON’T be easy because as human beings we always want to go back to what is comfortable or what they know best but it’s not always best for us. The first thing you have to do as a person who is being ABUSED is realize it and make a decision to change it because the longer you allow it the worst it’s going to get. Believe me when I say this it’s not going to get better because the ABUSER doesn’t think they are doing anything wrong to you. And know this if they’re doing it to you they have done it to others. You may think or even say that you can change them but in realty you can’t change another person the only you can change is you. Make the change because someone needs to see the change in your life in order for him or her to change his or her life. It could be your child, sister, brother, grandchild or a friend… No matter how attractive, wealth, old or smart a person is, he or she can be a victim of emotional ABUSE and they can also be the ABUSER.
SMOOOCHESSS!!! until next time